SpW2: BYOB vs. The Funeral

Week Two – Friday – Riverside

The Funeral remains undefeated. The historical significance of this is unimportant. Bob won the flip, and decided to pull. As noted in the Week-One write up, attendance is key to BYOB’s victories, and all the BYOB stars were there.

First half. Alan Knox gets the delayed sky over Mike Dirda and Dan Gerber. 1-0 Funeral. Dirda gets the one-handed grab over Mateo, but can’t finish. Turnover. Alex Becker gets beat deep. Devin Horne gets an easy catch. 2-0. Bob overthrows Josie Pratt, and Knox gets a no-effort D. Sean Petterson scores on an ill-advised hammer. 3-0. Josie throws an easy, break I-O backhand to Bob. 3-1. Much confusion for BYOB leads to an OB pull. Mateo (from center) rips a forehand to Petterson. Ruben Land makes the open-side cut for the score. 4-1. #J9hammer for the next point. 5-1.

The Funeral calls a timeout. They like what they have and want to keep it going, a ho stack utilizing dishy handler throws and isolation cuts. Mateo is stalling to allow time for Maggie Mead to show up to give Jeannine #J9 Opie and Sandy Schaffa a sub. BYOB considers Zone and clam options to stifle The Funeral’s ho stack/German offense.

Time in. BYOB’s modified defense works, forcing a patient Funeral O to a drop turnover. Quick drop and Funeral regains. Now it’s a turnover party. Knox brings the #J9forehand down through three BYOB defenders for the score. 6-1 Funeral. Sarah Heffernan to Josie for the BYOB score. 6-2. Out comes the BYOB zone, but Dirda gets beat deep. 7-2. Big throw to BYOB’s John Sakon, who has no one to throw to. Time out on stall nine. After a plan, Sakon puts out the backhand bender to Kelsey Brooks for the BYOB score. 7-3. Land gets a HUGE catch over Sakon. Give and go, Land to Felipe Rivera and back. Funeral scores. 8-3. Halftime.

Mark DQ at halftime: “Our strategy is to stop The Funeral from delaying this game. We need to score quickly, and they’re just taking too long at the line.” Bob simply and tiredly wanted to “score more points.” Gabe Finkelstein of The Funeral said “our strategy is a stifling defense.”

Second half. Jonas Cartano gets a catch from Sandy Schaffa for a score. 9-3 Funeral. Jordan Rose-Figura catches a disgusting forehand from Zach Weintraub for a fruitless score. 9-4. Weintraub Ds a hammer by Mateo. Bob drops a hammer. Then The Funeral scores a few more times. In the end the score was 15-4.

Here’s what I don’t get: Early scouting reports indicated Alex Becker and Mike Dirda to be the most sought after baggage duo in the draft. Becker’s big throws dominated Fall 2012 Finals, but in Friday’s match, his throws were errant, directionless. And where was Dirda? Alan Knox says: “Too much Magic the Gathering.”

Is this over-hyped pair at fault for this loss? Maybe. However, The Funeral has 3 big guys: Knox, Horne, and Land, whom they are comfortable matching up against anyone in the league. The rest of the team takes away the inside or under cuts while this trio owns the sky on the deep cuts.

To beat The Funeral takes more than good attendance. You need a plan. For all of you wringing your hats over this undefeated team, consider this advice from my former captain Brittany Kaplan: MUD doesn’t count until the finals.