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Red Rocks Rocky Socks defeated Blue Öyster Cultimate 14 to 10 on Saturday afternoon to become Mixed Fall Champions. But besides the evenness of the point to take half, which was tied at seven, took about 20 minutes, included two timeouts, featured 17 changes of possession, and ended up being enormously consequential, the game felt a little unfair before the first pull.

The Socks brought only two DOWs to Van Cortlandt. They rallied to a 15-13 victory over What We Do in the Shadows in the semifinals while playing a person down, but one of their women had to leave after that game. That meant the Socks had only one women, their captain Ivy Tsang, for the finals. After some prompting by the commissioners, the Öyster captains agreed to let Red pickup two DOWs from Team GOLD, including the recently named league MVP.

So Red got the W, but when Lily Gould scored the final goal, the league groaned a bit.

Alas, it’s in the books!

The Öysters had a full day. They defeated Wrath of Grapes in the pre-semis, 15 to 8. Then the Ö Cult met the 2nd-seeded Team GOLD in the game to go. “It wasn’t even close” said GOLD captain Ben Malburg. Blue walked through GOLD 15 to 7. And we know what happened in the finals.

On the other field, What We Do in the Shadows Is Spooky Swing the Disc faced Vanilla Bean Badass to start the day. Spooky only brought seven players, but it seemed like the right seven. They devoured the Beans 15 to 7. When they met the Red Rocks in the semifinals, the key to the game was upwind breaks, and Red just got one more than Spooky did.

Wrath defeated Vanilla Bean in the 5th-place game 15 to 9. Team GOLD ended up in 3rd place after the seven Spooky Shadows decided they were done for the day. (Plus GOLD had to give a couple of their stars to the eventual champions).

Of note, Ivy Tsang and 12 other rookies on the Rocky Socks got their first finals victory. Jae Lee got his first finals win in four years and his fourth overall. David Chen has captained and won back-to-back fall leagues, and he and William Zhang just got their 6th overall. Madeline Parish has never not seen the finals and just notched her third win in four appearances. And Mateo Mead has tied Sean Petterson at 13 championships, the most.

League MVP: Lily Gould
Rookie of the Season: Kaylee Viets
Heffernan Award (MIP): Ashton Carrick
Kaplan Spirit Award: Ivy Tsang

Congrats on another Fall League finished. And thanks to Christine and Winston for the fun we’ll remember forever. Or at least until next spring!

With the absence of team jerseys this fall, team names took on the role of arriving the week of finals. Indeed, all the teams have a unique moniker, and the players can finally embrace their cooperative (though quickly fleeting) identities.

Let’s take a look at the results.

Wrath of Grapes

Liz met Jake at the draft and told him all her teams are purple. He agreed but insisted they plagiarize Steinbeck and a Rec League team from 2014. They compromised, swapped the nouns, and personified some berries. Delightful! Angry!

Then they grabbed 10 rookies off the draft board, and dumped them into the bottom seed. Welcome to Mud League!

Finals is a fine time to use that wrath and take revenge on these teams that keep beating you. And geez, Liz: this summer it was Terror, now it’s Wrath. What’s next?

What We Do in the Shadows Is Spooky Swing the Disc

Allie and Chloe chose black as their color at the draft, but went metaphorical with their name. They took inspiration from the main commercial holiday of October, and obviously from a popular television show. Other teams Allie has captained follow this pattern of proving they are aware of and enjoying the current trendy thing. However, this is Allie’s first Mixed team not named specifically after a beverage.

This dark team is the fifth seed, and you wonder if that is a purposeful, on-brand, attempt at a rise-from-the-grave move.

They do have the longest name with the most words in Mud history, and their non-grammatical but quite literal inclusion of an ultimate term is charming if not progressive. We are with you Allie and Chloe. Pile it on! Forgo the adverb! Depunctuate the sentence!

Vanilla Bean Badass

Avery and Marikje’s strong offering to the name pool is a phrase more than one of us have uttered while hovering over the freezer at our bodega. This team in white is frozen in the fourth seed for now.

The Beans’ season has matched the oxymoron in their name. When they play the last place Grapes, they’re badass. When they play any other team, they’re pretty vanilla. The slight exception is their week-one win over the Ö Cult, the first opening-day forfeit win since fall 2018.

They’ll have to prove they deserve that middle seed when they face Spooky on Saturday. And it will certainly be badass if another four seed wins finals. It has only happened once.

Blue Öyster Cultimate

Kylie finally brought Jon onboard this fall in order to name her team after their shared passion for what passed as heavy metal in the 1970s. Of course, Kylie and Jon also felt their team was represented by the origin of that band’s name, which is a poem about a gang of aliens who get together to discreetly influence human history. Is this what the blue team has been doing all season? If so, how did they end up as the third seed?

And if this name seems familiar that’s because you’ve been on a blue team before and somebody suggested it in the naming huddle. Even so, of the 18 teams in Mud’s history that have included “blue” in their name, this is the only öyster cult (+ obligatory disc pun).

Did you know Kylie and Jon met at an intermediate cowbell class on the upper west side?

Team BM

Ben and Mickey need to get their name together quickly for a few reasons. The auto-generated one based on their initials seems both really messy and way too intimate. The team is the second seed, but are they really that in-sync?

Also, just look around. The bar is pretty low. You could win this league by throwing a couple random if not made up words together. And winning with your current name might leave a nasty stain on the league.

Your teammates have followed you all the way to Van Cortlandt, they’ve come through at 9:30am games, they stuck with you through choosing yellow. Give them their collective persona. Tell them who they are!

Red Rocks Rocky Socks

David and Ivy didn’t have much say here. Everyone knows if you draft Mateo, his seven-year-old gets to name the team. At least the kid comes to games and keeps score. Maybe that’s why the Rocks are the top seed.

Thank goodness they don’t spell socks with an “x.” What is a rocky sock anyway? Is what you get when you walk to the fields at Van Cortlandt?

Let's find out AT FINALS on Saturday, November 19th! First games start at 9:45am.

Back in the summer of 2016, Alex Becker drafted his team (Cream Cheese) and knew they would help him become a centurion. Each team had 25 scheduled games that summer, and Becker began the season with 98 wins. Six weeks and twelve games later, not only was Alex still waiting for his 99th win (and his team’s first win), but Cream Cheese had set the records for worst start and worst losing streak in Mixed/Comp MUD history. The 99th win came in that 13th game, and Becker became a centurion a week (albeit four games) later on July 17, 2016.

Miriam Nielsen had to wait a bit longer.

Before the summer of 2019, Miriam had 93 wins. In nine seasons with the league, Miriam boasted a win percentage of 65%, and she had never had a losing season. Miriam became a first-time captain that summer of 2019. Her team was Nothing Rhymes with Kumquat.

Nothing went right for Kumquat or Miriam. They started out with 11 straight losses, and after winning one, they lost the remaining five. Miriam went to 94 wins. Then, in the following fall season, Miriam only got four more wins, merely moving her to 98. By the time we were all able to get on the field again in summer of 2021, Miriam needed just two more wins. Of course, it took Miriam’s team 12 games to bring her to 100. And if you count it all, it was two years, three seasons, and 38 games after Miriam took on the captainship to find seven wins and get the century.

Here in the summer of 2022, we’ve got captain Liz Fritz and her baggage and former co-captain Charlie Eisenhood. They both began this season with 97 wins. We’re in the last week of the regular season now and their team (The Terror of Collective Decisions) has only won two games. Like Miriam and Alex, they seem to be suffering a captain-to-centurion curse. Nothing else makes sense. These two have been winning finals, in finals, or at least the top seed in seven of the last eight seasons.

They’ve got two more regular-season games. Will they seal the deal despite the disrepute like Becker, or will they keep the centurions in suspense like Nielsen? To complicate the moneyline, Liz and Charlie win at just over 50% in their MUD careers. Want to make a prediction? Or has the hex vexed you too?

See you out there.

You have just received one of the three most-anticipated emails of the year. And thank goodness. Welcome. The season starts tomorrow.

This mixed MUD summer brings together 15 rookies, two first-time captains, five centurions, two teammates who need three more wins to join the 100 club, one player who is trying to rid herself of zero-wins ignominy, another who has been missing for 13 seasons, and the rest of us.

Let's do this Thomas Jefferson! First pulls at 6pm. Home teams (the teams that stay) wear white.

Stax on the Beach defeated The Putters (pronounced: PUT-ers) in a thrilling 27-25 finals that almost featured a comeback win if not for a controversial, late-game timeout call. In fact, the game might be remembered as the reason we adjusted the 5-on-5 timeout rules rather than as Ellie Simon's first championship as a captain (and a rookie cap among veterans, by the way). Also of note, Andy Eklund won his third summer league in-a-row, cementing his current reputation as a must-get. Brianna Dayer, the unofficial tournament MVP, won her first finals after nine seasons. And Mateo Mead, who called that timeout with his and Ellie's team up by one and with only 1:10 to play, earned his 12th championship.

Conor McDonough, captain of The Putters, led his team to the finals after an upset victory over the heavily-favored Cate Blanchett in the semis. Blanchett's captain, Liz Fritz, blamed herself, but Charlie Eisenhood was unconvinced. "We just had too many people. Couldn't find the chemistry," Eisenhood said.

Stax defeated Red Rum in the semis. Red captain Sean Lanzner admitted after the tournament that his team "just made too many errors out there." However, they cleaned up in the League Awards!

Best Rookie and Most Improved: Robyn Lancaster
MVP: Brad Benjamin
Spirit of MUD: Phil Kim

Nice work all around. Thanks Caleb and Winston! Sign up for Summer!

Jazzerskies continues to dominate this league. Is it love at first bite? Captain Travis Rothbloom notes high attendance and constant subbing and sideline support in the development of their team’s flow.

Jazz brought out a close W against Nothing Tastes as Good as Mini Feels with Rookie Audrey Goldfarb open on every whim. Nothing keeps the chub lub lub club away like the defense of Sara Toguchi, Brad Hess, and Romer Brito. Rookie Octavio Bruetman sacrificed his body with promise of a stingy shower to get a game saving layout D against Tastes.

Miniterranean, hoping to redeem themselves fought back a huge point deficit in their first game against Wholesale30, but to no avail! Whole’s Rookie Cap’n Alec Orgera made a veteran move and called a well placed TO to chill out Whole and pull out the win +4.

SlimFastCount joined Mini in the LubLub Club. Zach “Apple Chips” Mills fought hard against Beach, racking up layout-D’s and tossing his cookies. Rookie Zoe Aarons has hands for days, catching some tough throws to keep Slim in it. After losing to Beach by a wide margin, Matt Benjamin HYPED FastCount into a slimmer point deficit, but they weren’t able to get Nothing against Tastes.

Rookies continue to dominate the field for Beach. Wholesale30 fought point for point with South Beach. Cameroon Westerberry proved a most reliable handler with “pinpoint precision throws into unguardable sections of the endzone,” noted opposing captain Josie Pratt. Beach’s women pulled out all the stops, including a Callahan for Sarah Zhou. The close game was nearing an end when Whole threw too deep, but Beach turned. It was high tension as Whole worked it back down the field, clock ticking. The end came with a buzzer beater stall out for Sharon Chiu on Josie to win the game 20-19. Looks like they’re on the road to Nationals, but they’re facing off against undefeated Jazz next week.

Stay cool out there, apparently ice water helps your metabolism.

Rain may be on the forecast for this weekend, but this season of MUD Summer League is heating up! Competitive league welcomed 6 new captains and a sea of rookies to this mini-season at Thomas Jefferson Park. Week one ended with Jazzerskies in the Dub Dub Club, Miniterranean in the Lub Lub Club, and everyone else in between.

Jazzerskies fought for their first win, starting out down 10-4 before closing out with a universe win to beat Wholesale30. They won their second as well against Slim Fast Count, crediting their wins to the will of the team to be selfless and sub often.

After realizing no one on their team had ever played small-ball before, Miniterranean got off to a slow start, going down 8-4 at one point during the first half. They caught Slim Fast Count taking a siesta and fought to take the lead 12-10. Sadly, the game ended with the Egyptian god of Air, Shu, taking a buzzer beater huck out the back of the endzone and handing the W to Slim Fast Count.

Nothing Tastes as Good as Mini Feels proved that women know how to rock more than a pretty face. MUD Veteran Liz Fritz and Rookie Captain Hope Lorah seemed to get more space than was on the mini-fields on their defenders. Dustin Becker and Rookie Tim McPhillips kept the flow going with chilly throws to cool off the field to get the W over South Beach Nationals.

Wholesale30 found the new mini format to be interesting, but was excited for new friends and customers for their enduring spirit! After overthrowing players in their first game to a loss, they stopped hitting the Joose and started hitting the Juice to come back for a W against Nothing Tastes. They won with a buzzer beating universe-toe-the-line-throw to veteran Miriam Nielsen.

South Beach heard the rumor about quick subbing and faced Miniterranean. Notably, Princeton Rookies Jiwon, Sarah, and Dylan impressed the league with high level throws, decision making, and flow. The play of the week was a huck to the endzone that ended with an almost D by captain Andrew Feierman, but Jordan Sved came down with it after an extreme bobble.

While the Miniterraneans took two losses on the day, Captain Jarrett Workman says you won't catch them fraternizing with Anubis, the Egyptian God of Funerals. They're looking to even out their record with victories in Week 2!

Rain may be on the forecast for this weekend, but this season of MUD Summer League is heating up! Competitive league welcomed 6 new captains and a sea of rookies to this mini-season at Thomas Jefferson Park. Week one ended with Jazzerskies in the Dub Dub Club, Miniterranean in the Lub Lub Club, and everyone else in between.

Jazzerskies fought for their first win, starting out down 10-4 before closing out with a universe win to beat Wholesale30. They won their second as well against Slim Fast Count, crediting their wins to the will of the team to be selfless and sub often.

After realizing no one on their team had ever played small-ball before, Miniterranean got off to a slow start, going down 8-4 at one point during the first half. They caught Slim Fast Count taking a siesta and fought to take the lead 12-10. Sadly, the game ended with the Egyptian god of Air, Shu, taking a buzzer beater huck out the back of the endzone and handing the W to Slim Fast Count.

Nothing Tastes as Good as Mini Feels proved that women know how to rock more than a pretty face. MUD Veteran Liz Fritz and Rookie Captain Hope Lorah seemed to get more space than was on the mini-fields on their defenders. Dustin Becker and Rookie Tim McPhillips kept the flow going with chilly throws to cool off the field to get the W over South Beach Nationals.

Wholesale30 found the new mini format to be interesting, but was excited for new friends and customers for their enduring spirit! After overthrowing players in their first game to a loss, they stopped hitting the Joose and started hitting the Juice to come back for a W against Nothing Tastes. They won with a buzzer beating universe-toe-the-line-throw to veteran Miriam Nielsen.

South Beach heard the rumor about quick subbing and faced Miniterranean. Notably, Princeton Rookies Jiwon, Sarah, and Dylan impressed the league with high level throws, decision making, and flow. The play of the week was a huck to the endzone that ended with an almost D by captain Andrew Feierman, but Jordan Sved came down with it after an extreme bobble.

While the Miniterraneans took two losses on the day, Captain Jarrett Workman says you won't catch them fraternizing with Anubis, the Egyptian God of Funerals. They're looking to even out their record with victories in Week 2!

On Sunday, the league headmasters opened the chamber of secrets and found a basilisk had eaten the bottom half of the permit! Not really. B-teams for Quidditch--a real sport--had practice on the fields at 3pm, so our games had to be shortened.

This meant Ravenclaw, who so far has started their games strong and then let teams back in, had a tactical advantage. Sure enough, both Gryffindor and Slytherin, respectively, battled back to within one against Ravenclaw. But then the bell rang, and Ravenclaw went and drank all the butter beer at the WW Club. They also celebrated the first league trick of the season, though those are reasonably-priced in this skinny spring. Ravenclaw is now in first place.

Hufflepuff upgraded their Club experience in week two, bouncing back and evening their record. They dug a massive hole in their first game against Slytherin, and buried the snake in it. After Slytherin broke to start the game, Hufflepuff scored the next nine. They won it 14 to 9. Hufflepuff may have found a motto in "hard work, team work" as they applied both in their second game to hold out against Gryffindor. The badgers kept wiz-kid John Best bottled up, and fired-up their own new guy Dean Romine. The result was 12 to 11.

Gryffindor took the wrong set of stairs this weekend and ended up at the LL Club. Slytherin was there practicing dark arts in the corner. It seems one of the snakes thought they could reverse the league-licking curse. Fat chance. Those two teams play each other first thing this coming Sunday. Let's hope they both drafted a Herbology prodigy because the losers are going to need to apply ointment.